Dating & Sex

Why are people so fucking gross?! Stop cheating on your girlfriend or your boyfriend! It can’t be that hard! You’re making everyone look bad! Ugh.

When it comes to dating and relationships, especially after the whirlwind of bullshit from my very recent past, I am the sort of person who constantly gets cold feet. Rather than putting up with difficult feelings or pushing through the hard stuff, I throw my hands up instead and am quick to exclaim, “Fuck this! I’m out!”

I don’t trust you. I don’t like you. And I don’t find you very impressive at all.

I have this menstruation-calendar tracking app on my phone (I am so sorry in advance to all of my readers who get grossed out by the idea of a woman going through her natural cycles), and there’s this one week out of the month called “Green Week”, which basically means, “This week, you are going to be extremely horny.”

Being hit on is always such a surprising experience. In fact, despite the many times I have been hit on over the course of my life, the sensation still manages to catch me off guard.

The Internet? That’s different. When you are assaulted with as many creepy and shudder-worthy messages online as I am on a daily basis, you tend to grow jaded to flattery received via digital means, and all of it starts to blur together over time. Internet stuff, I can handle. I have been handling it for what feels like forever.

But real life.
That’s where I tend to struggle.

This is the best tea I have ever had in my life. In my life. In. My. Life. Seriously. It’s too bad my first memories with it are associated with a sexually aggressive weirdo, but I guess that can’t be helped.

Dear V, First and most importantly, you should know that I currently suffer from a broken heart and am not fit to date anybody at this point. What I want and…