What is this “Toms” you speak of, Cheri?
Ah, so glad you asked.
Toms are these cloth/canvas-material type shoes that wrap snugly around the foot and are lined with a foam-rubber-ish-cheapy-kinda-feeling sole. Toms shoes are lightweight, surprisingly comfortable to dance in, and come in several awesome colors like navy blue, red, corduroy olive green, chocolate browns and greys—not to mention, they’re super cheap! So feel free to destroy as many pairs as you’d like.
“Destroy as many pairs as I want?! Who do you think I am, Cheri?!”
Worry not, you paranoid-of-being-wasteful do-gooders! For every pair of Toms you buy, you’re providing a child in some less fortunate country somewhere with a lifetime supply of Toms shoes. Not only that, but their shoes are actually built to last, and are (hilariously enough) much sturdier than the pair of Toms you just purchased at Nordstrom.
Why Would San Franciscans Love Toms?
The Toms brand represents everything that is San Francisco—charitable, “green”, holistic, kind-of-a-ripoff-but-it’s-okay-because-it’s-for-a-good-cause, etc. And naturally, whatever is holistic and good for the global environment usually becomes trendy in San Francisco. We’re kinda cool like that over here.
Unsurprisingly, there are plenty of people in San Francisco who enjoy trend-spotting, but might be too shy to admit it for fear of seeming “mainstream” (calm down, hipsters). The Toms brand represents a charitable way to participate in something trendy while also feeling good about the purchase because of the holistic reasons associated with wearing the shoe. Also, hey, they look pretty good!
“Are you wearing Toms, bro? What a hipster douche-move.”
“Bro, get over yourself—some kid in some third-world country is rocking new shoes for life thanks to me wearing these.”
“That’s what makes you a douche.”
“… Do you hear the words that come out of your mouth?”
I know that not everyone will like Toms (and probably not for all of the same reasons listed above), but seriously, these things are just fantastic. In fact, for those of you saddened because you born with gnarly dragon claw feet, you’ll be pleased to hear that Toms are vanity-sized! By that I mean: I’m not a women’s 5.5 in Toms – I’m a 5.
Also, this is not an advertisement for Toms. I just really like these suckers, and I would actually encourage all of you to try a pair for the good of the global community (they’re only like, ~$50 USD—perfect shoes for school, for day-to-day casual activities, for hipster-bar-hopping, for brunch, etc). And if someone gives you shit for rocking Toms just because they’re kinda trendy, do yourself a favor and rise above that peer pressure bullshit—these look great and save lives at the same goddamn time.
For every hipster I may have upset by writing this article and encouraging people around the world to rock Toms for holistic reasons, which somehow makes Toms “less cool” (or something along those same idiotic lines), I suggest you neatly write your complaint down on pretty stationary, fold it up, slip it into an envelope, then shove it up your ass.
Your Lovely San Francisco Trend-Spotting Blogger,
Sherilynn “HeyCheri” Macale
PS. Who’s going to EDC 2012 in Vegas? I’m probably rocking Toms for a day or two at the festival (among other “dope swag”). I swear Toms are the most comfortable dancing shoes I have ever worn—holy crap. I know this from experience, of course, as evidenced in part by my dancing video on Tumblr. If you have other dancing-shoe suggestions, please, toss your chips in. I’m down to try your recommendations! It’s music festival season, baby!
PPS. I totally pulled a Hemingway writing this blog post. Bonus points to the quote-and-literature-geek who understands that reference.