The copied and about-to-be-pasted lists I want to share with you remind me of my childhood on the Internet. I haven’t received a chain letter I’ve seriously enjoyed in a really long time. I’m usually trying to block the sender whenever I get one. Has Internet innovation become stale?
Here are the lists.
Etiquette for a Gentleman
- Be kind.
- Kissing her on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world.
- Don’t keep her waiting just because you know she will.
- Always remind her she’s beautiful, especially when she least expects it.
- Never let a girl know she has a chance when you know she doesn’t.
- Saying what’s on your mind is not actually the end of the world.
- If she’s upset, tuck that strand of hair behind her ear and wrap your arms around her. (Don’t let her go until the tears have stopped and your shoulders are drenched.)
- Wear a belt. It’s called underwear for a reason.
- Chivalry never died; some men just choose to ignore it.
- Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.
- Gossip is the game of reporters, school children and tea-drinking ladies.
- Never lie; she’s always catch you.
- Only say “I love you” if you actually mean it.
- A single hand-picked flower is more thoughtful than dozen store-bought flowers.
- You’re her knight in shining armor. Act like it.
- Don’t be afraid to make the first move.
- Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
- If you treat her like your queen, she’ll think of you as your king.
- Don’t put up walls, they almost never get broken down.
- Treat her like a princess, not a whore.
- Hold her hand. Especially in front of your friends.
- Sorry doesn’t mean they’re right and you’re wrong. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.
- If bros come before hoes, you’re not ready for dating.
- Don’t promise to call when you know you won’t.
- Belittling others makes you neither tough nor impressive. (It just makes you stupid and rude.)
Etiquette for a Lady
- Stay Classy.
- Always cross your legs when wearing a skirt. Always.
- Chew like you have a secret.
- Smile, it helps you get your way.
- Leave the rumor-spreading and trash-talking to Gossip Girl.
- Respect yourself. If you don’t, he won’t either.
- Leggings are not pants.
- Keep your head, heels, and standards high.
- If he doesn’t treat you like a princess, then he doesn’t deserve to be your prince.
- Love your body. It’s the only one you’ve got.
- Never reveal your age, weight or bra size.
- Proper grammar will get you far in life.
- No, passing out drunk on the floor is not sexy.
- Being beautiful is a choice… and it’s never too late to choose it.
- Never dumb yourself down for a boy.
- Being single doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means being strong enough to wait for what you deserve.
- Always know how short is too short; be it a dress, haircut, heels, or a man.
- Confidence is your best accessory, never leave home without it.
- Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower, getting out, and putting on the same old dirty pair of underwear.
- Makeup is meant to enhance beauty, not cover it. Leave the clown makeup for the circus.
- Never let a boy define who you are or what you are worth.
- Never belittle yourself for anyone.
- If they can’t do their part, they don’t deserve your heart.
- Don’t make someone a priority if they only consider you an option.
- Be a force of nature.
Respond by pointing out which numbers you identify with in the comments, and whether you are a Gentleman or a Lady commenter. Just curious. As for myself, I’ve bolded the Lady side where I felt I identified with the etiquette rules. And for the record, I am a Lady. Just, y’know. Making that clear.
Also, I know it seems like I just bolded a whole bunch of ridiculous-sounding self confidence and boy-crazy crap, but what the heck? Those were the only options I was given. Why does the Gentleman side sound way cooler and adorable than the Lady side? Our rules suck. T__T … Or are the reason we’re so awesome. Whatever. You decide.
And screw you. I can use as many emoticons as I want in my blog. Check out this sweet ASCII art. Like ginormous Picasso emoticons of the Internetz. Lulz and stuffz with lotz of Zs.
… I mighta’ had a glass of wine. Don’t mind me.
Also, I should repeat this because some of you have probably been lead astray by the badass Tomb Raider ASCII image above:
Don’t forget to respond with which numbers you identify with most closely in the comments, and whether you are a Gentleman or a Lady.
Look at that. I made it so freaking easy to figure out what to comment with below. You’re welcome. I’m nice like that.
Back to Borderlands,
XOXO Cheri XOXO
Some stuff of mine elsewhere to look at if you’re really that bored (or interested?):
- So me and my boyfriend broke up because he lost …
- Do you ever wonder whether the information we’re …
- Playing Borderlands (purchased from PSN). I just …
- Coool. Guess which statistic I’m cooing over? [Pic]
- Gaming question: Do you customize your game …
- I didn’t buy those pink headphones because I realized …