While reading Game of Thrones during my commute through the city this morning, the sudden realization that this (everything that was happening at that very moment) was routine to me filled me with surprise.
Gaze drifting from my Kindle, it struck me; Only five months ago, I had shakily stepped foot onto San Francisco public transportation for the first time. Only five months ago, I knew absolutely no one in the city & had no one to call or meet up with for a night on the town. Five months ago, the grasp I had on my surroundings, what I was doing, where I was headed, or how I was going to get there was nonexistent.
Now I recognize obscure landmarks. Now I have friends to visit in their various apartments spread throughout this maze of one way streets and dizzy, hill-ridden neighborhoods. Now I’ve tasted
good amazing food and savor the difference between Pizza Hut & real Italian. Now I can read through a few chapters of my favorite book without having to repeatedly check the GPS on my iPhone to make sure I haven’t missed my stop.
Do you have any idea how satisfying it is to feel like you’re finally “home” somewhere?
I can barely remember what it’s like to be trapped in that room in my parent’s house, unable to go anywhere and only able to mingle with people I’ve known my entire life. I can barely remember what it’s like to regularly visit my local Target or go on midnight runs to Taco Bell after a night of drinking at the local bar.
It’s only been five months, I know, but San Francisco is my home now and it feels like I’ve been here forever.
I’ve come to understand so many things about myself that I never would have felt okay with if I hadn’t moved out on my own like this.
For one, I used to think that staying home all day and playing video games was only something that I did because I had nothing else to do. I used to think that because I had no means of transportation, no one I really wanted to hang out with, and nothing to do in a small city, I resorted to planting myself in front of my TV with a PS3 controller in hand.
As it turns out, I just really fucking like video games.
I used to think that the only reason I stayed home all day like a hermit loner was because I didn’t get along with any of the people in my very small hometown. I felt like I never left my house because there was no one nearby that I really clicked with or wanted to spend more than a couple of hours around.
As it turns out, I really do just prefer to be in solitude.
Even here in the city with so many people who have the same interests as me, I’d rather be in my room alone and staring at my ceiling than out getting into whatever crazy adventures would probably occur if I were to leave my girl-cave.
The only people who seem to be able to get me out of my room are Rich (my best friend here in the city who I probably mention almost every single day on my Twitter account, much to the annoyance of the friends who follow us both), and my amazing roomies, of course (pictured above with the glasses of boxed wine, bahaha).
But you really do have no idea how often I pretend that my phone is dead, or that I have something really important to do, or that I’m sleeping when someone tries to get me to hang out with them. I’m sure I’ve made a great deal of people feel incredibly insulted or unwanted by just plain ignoring them, but it’s really not because I hate them. I swear.
It has more to do with me taking more of an interest in the books I’m reading, the video games I’m playing, or whatever else I’m into at that moment than with the idea that I hate people.
I don’t hate people.
In fact, I’m actually very good with people.
And actually, it’s been stated many times by those who have had the pleasure of meeting me that I am so incredibly fucking good at meeting, talking to, and developing relationships with people that I should really just make a goddamn living out of it.
But the fact is, given the choice, I prefer to be alone.
Alone, I can lay around like a slob in my bathrobe and not shower for 3 days straight, and no one will be any the wiser. … Uh, not that I do that or anything. /Cough. Alone, I can go brain dead to Channel 64, Entertainment Television for 8 hours, or flip the channel back and forth between Cartoon Network & Disney without anyone telling me to stop being ADD and pick something to watch. Alone, I can type as loudly as I want on my fucking keyboard WHILE blasting Selena Gomez music AND stuffing my face with chips & salsa, wine, and with my PS3 on in the background. Alone, nobody is whining for my attention or asking me what I think about this or requesting that or wanting this from me — I PREFER TO BE ALONE.
I guess I just feel like people want too much from me, and sometimes, all I want to do is just sit there and only worry about myself.
Allow me to stress that of course I enjoy spending time with other people, but for the most part, I’d rather just eat, shit, and sleep.
That’s cool with you guys, right?
Living in San Francisco, I’m also dressing the way I want to without worrying about what the simple minded few might say when it comes to my personal style. I’m finally getting around to pulling pieces from my wardrobe that I’ve never worn, and proudly traipsing through the city in my fresh and carefully planned get-ups.
There’s such a sense of freedom here to do whatever I want, be it laying around geeking out over Google Plus (which you should all add me on, by the way) to heading down to the local crepe shop to have dessert for breakfast. There’s no lingering feeling of guilt when you fail to come home the night after partying, or crashing on someone’s couch because you’re far too smashed to do anything else.
There’s always something to do here, always so much to see, always so many people to meet — San Francisco is incredible.
I suppose I love this city so much because it’s the first place where I’ve ever really felt like an “adult”. This is the first place where I’ve ever really felt like I can make all of my own decisions and not regret a single one. Even making a mistake here or there feels like a simple growing pain.
And you really can’t believe how jealous I am of the people I’ve rubbed elbows with here who have managed to live their lives in so many different places. I’ve met so many brilliant friends and travelers in these five months alone — People who have been all over the world traveling to Brazil, France, Japan and beyond. I’m good friends with go-getters who own some of the most profitable news sites in the world from gaming to social media. I am regularly running into entrepreneurs and new CEO’s of Tech Startups while also managing to form fast friendships with models, photographers, artists, and dreamers alike.
And while this all is incredibly exciting and new, it is, again, routine.
And I just can’t believe that this is my life now.
So many people have told me that I seem like such a “SoCal” girl, but I really can’t picture living anywhere else.
This is a city of networking, opportunity, creativity, and culture. This is Geek & Tech Hollywood with a splash of Fashion and a heaping spoonful of Amazing Food. This is where dreams are born and actually come true. THIS. IS.
SPARTA SAN FRANCISCO!
And I fucking love it here.
XOXO Cheri XOXO