While reading Game of Thrones during my commute through the city this morning, the sudden realization that this (everything that was happening at that very moment) was routine to me filled me with surprise.
Gaze drifting from my Kindle, it struck me; Only five months ago, I had shakily stepped foot onto San Francisco public transportation for the first time. Only five months ago, I knew absolutely no one in the city & had no one to call or meet up with for a night on the town. Five months ago, the grasp I had on my surroundings, what I was doing, where I was headed, or how I was going to get there was nonexistent.
But now?
Now I recognize obscure landmarks. Now I have friends to visit in their various apartments spread throughout this maze of one way streets and dizzy, hill-ridden neighborhoods. Now I’ve tasted good amazing food and savor the difference between Pizza Hut & real Italian. Now I can read through a few chapters of my favorite book without having to repeatedly check the GPS on my iPhone to make sure I haven’t missed my stop.
Do you have any idea how satisfying it is to feel like you’re finally “home” somewhere?
I can barely remember what it’s like to be trapped in that room in my parent’s house, unable to go anywhere and only able to mingle with people I’ve known my entire life. I can barely remember what it’s like to regularly visit my local Target or go on midnight runs to Taco Bell after a night of drinking at the local bar.
It’s only been five months, I know, but San Francisco is my home now and it feels like I’ve been here forever.
I’ve come to understand so many things about myself that I never would have felt okay with if I hadn’t moved out on my own like this.
For one, I used to think that staying home all day and playing video games was only something that I did because I had nothing else to do. I used to think that because I had no means of transportation, no one I really wanted to hang out with, and nothing to do in a small city, I resorted to planting myself in front of my TV with a PS3 controller in hand.
As it turns out, I just really fucking like video games.
I used to think that the only reason I stayed home all day like a hermit loner was because I didn’t get along with any of the people in my very small hometown. I felt like I never left my house because there was no one nearby that I really clicked with or wanted to spend more than a couple of hours around.
As it turns out, I really do just prefer to be in solitude.
Even here in the city with so many people who have the same interests as me, I’d rather be in my room alone and staring at my ceiling than out getting into whatever crazy adventures would probably occur if I were to leave my girl-cave.
The only people who seem to be able to get me out of my room are Rich (my best friend here in the city who I probably mention almost every single day on my Twitter account, much to the annoyance of the friends who follow us both), and my amazing roomies, of course (pictured above with the glasses of boxed wine, bahaha).
But you really do have no idea how often I pretend that my phone is dead, or that I have something really important to do, or that I’m sleeping when someone tries to get me to hang out with them. I’m sure I’ve made a great deal of people feel incredibly insulted or unwanted by just plain ignoring them, but it’s really not because I hate them. I swear.
It has more to do with me taking more of an interest in the books I’m reading, the video games I’m playing, or whatever else I’m into at that moment than with the idea that I hate people.
I don’t hate people.
In fact, I’m actually very good with people.
And actually, it’s been stated many times by those who have had the pleasure of meeting me that I am so incredibly fucking good at meeting, talking to, and developing relationships with people that I should really just make a goddamn living out of it.
But the fact is, given the choice, I prefer to be alone.
Alone, I can lay around like a slob in my bathrobe and not shower for 3 days straight, and no one will be any the wiser. … Uh, not that I do that or anything. /Cough. Alone, I can go brain dead to Channel 64, Entertainment Television for 8 hours, or flip the channel back and forth between Cartoon Network & Disney without anyone telling me to stop being ADD and pick something to watch. Alone, I can type as loudly as I want on my fucking keyboard WHILE blasting Selena Gomez music AND stuffing my face with chips & salsa, wine, and with my PS3 on in the background. Alone, nobody is whining for my attention or asking me what I think about this or requesting that or wanting this from me — I PREFER TO BE ALONE.
I guess I just feel like people want too much from me, and sometimes, all I want to do is just sit there and only worry about myself.
Allow me to stress that of course I enjoy spending time with other people, but for the most part, I’d rather just eat, shit, and sleep.
That’s cool with you guys, right?
Living in San Francisco, I’m also dressing the way I want to without worrying about what the simple minded few might say when it comes to my personal style. I’m finally getting around to pulling pieces from my wardrobe that I’ve never worn, and proudly traipsing through the city in my fresh and carefully planned get-ups.
There’s such a sense of freedom here to do whatever I want, be it laying around geeking out over Google Plus (which you should all add me on, by the way) to heading down to the local crepe shop to have dessert for breakfast. There’s no lingering feeling of guilt when you fail to come home the night after partying, or crashing on someone’s couch because you’re far too smashed to do anything else.
There’s always something to do here, always so much to see, always so many people to meet — San Francisco is incredible.
I suppose I love this city so much because it’s the first place where I’ve ever really felt like an “adult”. This is the first place where I’ve ever really felt like I can make all of my own decisions and not regret a single one. Even making a mistake here or there feels like a simple growing pain.
And you really can’t believe how jealous I am of the people I’ve rubbed elbows with here who have managed to live their lives in so many different places. I’ve met so many brilliant friends and travelers in these five months alone — People who have been all over the world traveling to Brazil, France, Japan and beyond. I’m good friends with go-getters who own some of the most profitable news sites in the world from gaming to social media. I am regularly running into entrepreneurs and new CEO’s of Tech Startups while also managing to form fast friendships with models, photographers, artists, and dreamers alike.
And while this all is incredibly exciting and new, it is, again, routine.
And I just can’t believe that this is my life now.
So many people have told me that I seem like such a “SoCal” girl, but I really can’t picture living anywhere else.
This is a city of networking, opportunity, creativity, and culture. This is Geek & Tech Hollywood with a splash of Fashion and a heaping spoonful of Amazing Food. This is where dreams are born and actually come true. THIS. IS. SPARTA SAN FRANCISCO!
And I fucking love it here.
XOXO Cheri XOXO
58 comments
This sounds like a great time and a dream!
Well fine, just keep all the awesomeness to yourself, then!
I WILL! :3
Glad to know you’re loving sf! I remember when I had just moved here from philippines 10 yrs ago.. roaming the streets of sf with my sibling with no exact destination, taking advantage of the bus ticket just for the hell of it, eating at the ghetto’est places you can think of (which are the bomb!) and all that tourist’y shit. it’s a lovely little town. -)
Where did that cute white button up shirt came from? i want ittttt! LOL!
Ha! You are so right that even the “ghetto’est places you can think of” out here are “the bomb”. Oh my god. Finding little hole-in-the-wall restaurants has never been so tasty. It’s DELICIOUS out here.
Also, I got the top from Bloom/VGeneration like a year or two ago. :) Super cheap and one size too large. It’s SO soft.
Cheri! You sound so happy and content, I love it. I’ve been following a few years (first found you on LJ) and I’m really happy to see you’re finding your place in life/world.
I loved San Francisco when I went there on vacay last month, its definitely found its way onto the list of places I’m toying with moving to in the next year or two. You pretty much describe it the way I saw it. The people, the food, the whole atmosphere of the city was amazing, and there was an openness and just be you feeling that I don’t see in all large cities.
I saw you during the pride parade but my guy “friend” wouldn’t let me go over and say hi (“she’s busy! leave her alone!”) lol I think he was secretly just worried I’d try to get you to give him one of your stop-being-a-pussy-and-tell-her you like her pep talks ;-)
I am happy! AND content! Ha.
And good! I was hoping that one of my LJ readers would be here to comment on this. It was mainly them that I was writing to — those who’ve been with me before I was anywhere close to where I am now.
Also, YOU SHOULD’VE SAID HELLO, OMG. No matter how busy I am, I seriously ALWAYS make time for blog readers, fans, followers, etc. Just ask anyone who’s actually met me in person, haha!
https://www.heycheri.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/0031.jpg
where are these wedges from? love them!
They’re Belle by Sigerson Morrison. :)
I totally feel you on staying at home a few nights!
But I’m glad you finally posted a new blog, now if only you could get a new video up to that youtube ;D Haha.
BTW, why are you so god damn hot? lol
Haha! I’ve already filmed a new video! Just waiting on my buddy to send me the right format for my intro clip. :)
I can relate to what you’re saying in this blog post. And It’s good to see that you’ve adapted so fast. That just goes to show anything is possible and it gives me hope for when I eventually get to California.
Nice post. I really liked this one.
Anything IS possible. And California is FANTASTIC. And if you ever move to San Francisco, you’d better let me know!
Of course. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t let you know I was in town? :D
A bad one. :3
I can’t believe it’s been 5 months already! It seems like yesterday you were moving out and settling in. Man, time sure flies. I’ll be moving to a new city for college soon (Boston), so I know I’ll be going through the same things you went through. Hopefully I feel as at home there as you do now in San Fran :)
GEMMA! Damn, an OG reader in the house. It feels like forever since I’ve replied to any of your comments. And I knooow, ugh. Soon it will be a year since I’ve been here! I don’t even … Can’t even imagine that, really.
And dude, good luck in Boston. I’ve never been to the East Coast before, but I can only imagine what it will be like for you.
Ugh, I know! I’ve been a down-low stalker, though (I stay-up-to date on your life through twitter, tumblr, and G+).
LoL I’ve been busy getting ready for college and hanging with a guy (my bf), but I just had to comment on this entry.
Hopefully everything turns out great. I def want to head out to Cali for my Spring break, which I’ll prob start planning for in like Nov.
Maybe I’ll see you there! xP
Hold on, hold on. Have you always had a boyfriend?! Why do I feel like this is something I may have known but never acknowledged …? Have you ever brought him up before? GAH. It’s been too long.
LoL no, he’s fairly new. I think I’ve known you long enough where I probably talked about my last boyfriend, too, though (that’s over 2 years!). Lmao, actually, now that I think about it, you might have heard of all of them. Woow, when you put it like that, I’ve been following/talking with you for forever O.o
LoL anywho, he’s fairly new. We just passed our 2 month anniversary last week :P
Seriously, story of my life. (re: being a hermit and playing video games).
And I’m glad SF’s treating you well! <3 it a ton myself!
Also, OBSESSED with Game of Thrones!!!
Great post Cheri, always love reading your stuff!
Hoooold on. Do you live in San Francisco? :O
Unfortunately no. I grew up in alameda and am currently going to school in Santa cruz. Love the city though,I always try to visit when I come home! :D
Hoorah! Visiiiit.
Wow, what a life you’ve developed so fast. I can’t help but ask though, do you really make enough money from modeling and freelance art pieces alone that you don’t have to work in an actual office? I’m envious of that and wish I could have that life.
As I am still here and have been here for the past couple of months … Then yes. I guess I do make enough money from that.
I wasn’t sure if you parents helped you out :D
Not at all. I would never let them.
Man, it’s really sweet to see an entry like this.
Not too sure if you remember me from LJ, but we decided on the moniker “pho” after we discussed how awesome pho was and I said if you ever came up to Canada, I’d show you the bestplaceever. lol.
I haven’t commented as much (idk, I guess with the plethora of new people, I just figured I’d get lost in the crowd, lol) in the past, oh, 7 or 8 months, but I’ve been around :D so it’s been nice to see you go from excitement/disappointment/frustration/idgaf/happy/settled. Kinda like any good relationship — you work out the kinks, you figure out how you can work around each other’s differences, you compromise, and you find out awesome shit about each other that makes you realize how much you love each other.
Random question: did you ever get around to getting a bedframe? I remember a while back, your mattress was on the floor, lol.
Anyway, xoxoxo <3
Pho, you always say, “I don’t think you’ll remember me, but–!”, haha. And I ALWAYS remember you. Silly. I don’t forget my readers. :)
Also, I have now had real pho since living in San Francisco, and it’s pretty bomb! But definitely not something I’m obsessed with like everyone else seems to be, haha.
And I like your comparison of San Francisco to relationships. Very accurate.
And yes, I have a bed frame, haha! Will be upgrading to a King pretty soon here. :)
She definitely doesn’t forget. Hundreds of nice comments over the years; one not-so-nice one, and it’s still held over my head. :P
Now you’ve got the idea. ;)
To err is human, to forgive divine. :)
Aww <33 you gave me heart flutters hehe.
I feel like you've had a chance to experience different kinds of food — any suggestions? (not SF-specific, just in general)
Not really. XD I LIKE ALL FOOD.