Y’know what I’ve realize after going on this recent design & illustration stint?
My blog has become less about posting millions of pictures of yours truly, and more about this now-feverish hunt of mine to discover some sort of “niche” to fit into. To harness whatever talents I have and scrounge up what’s left of my oh-so-important ego to nab a community management job here, a blogging role there, or a creative gig over there.
I’ve become this frantic thing hustling art to try and make a living while I shoot out application after application, rework my resume 10x over, and leap on every opportunity passed on by a friend to maybe land an offer through references alone.
I know I seem desperate.
And I am. I’ve said this already.
I don’t want to fucking move out of San Francisco — I love it here. I love my friends, I love the people that I’ve met, I love the things that I’ve done, I love the ample amount of opportunities available to me — It’s great!
So I’ve been doing what I can to survive.
Including restructuring the entire layout of my website towards art, just in case some gaming company or illustration-based recruiter stumbles onto my blog and thinks, “Wow — this girl’s got the stuff! Her art is great, she’s got a loyal following, and she can really bring something to the table for us!”
But the truth is, social media, community management, blogger, freelance writer, or “public figure” jobs aren’t thrown onto the table every day. And when they are, there’s probably millions of people tripping over their own feet for a chance to snatch it off the market. So while you and every other person might think I am the most qualified and capable person for the position (and I thank you all so much for your support over the years), my future employers still need that bit of convincing.
I mean, what can I do?
Do I have you all pipe up and send in emails and letters demanding that I get hired?
Do I have my entire Twitter following rise up in chorus?
How am I supposed to show that I’m someone?
I don’t know anymore.
I wish I had someone to tell me what to do, point me in the direction of where I’m supposed to go, and sort of lay out this plan for me on “how to be successful” — because try as I might, I don’t think I’m doing it the right way.
Art seems to be the only thing that can take my mind off of how bad everything else is suddenly becoming. It’s like, hey. At least I’m still good at this one little thing, ha! *Waves e-penis proudly, flips everyone off, flex, etc etc.*
And it’s not like I haven’t been propositioned for jobs or recommended by various friends for this or for that. Offers have even been made where the recruiter or hiring manager interviewing me would seriously psych me out with, “You’re getting this. The job is yours!” — But the lesson learned here, friends, is GET IT IN PAPER, OR THE OFFER DOESN’T MEAN SHIT.
Luckily for me, I am still in good health (I think?), and am still surrounded by people who I adore. And while I may not be snapping a million photos of myself like I normally do, I am fortunate enough to have friends who are as camera-happy as I typically am.
With that said, enjoy these photos:
That would be me on the left, drunk as shit on St. Patty’s Day. The only times I seem to will myself out of my apartment lately is to cavort with friends, guzzle down alcohol, and forget my troubles.
… Which seems to be a fairly effective way to build one’s character, I think.
Let’s play “Guess Which Asian I Am”? :3
Kidding. Here I am, again drunk as I don’t remember taking this picture, and apparently standing in front of a crepe stand (according to the oh-so-telling facebook captions).
From left to right, you’ll see Chi (a gaming girlfriend), Fran Mirabella III (IGN’s Director of Video Production), Me (the sadly unemployed yet still blissfully inebriated Asian), Linda Le (a hot cosplayer), and Warren Price (a Game Designer at EA).
I think we’re all trashed?
… I don’t know. I’m not a very good judge of drunken-ness when I am sloshed myself.
Oh look. A picture where I’m not drunk. That’s a new one.
This was taken earlier in the day at WonderCon 2011. I’m clutching my iPad where I was toting around my portfolio in an attempt to score some kind of art gig with whatever-the-fuck publisher would take me (and also freelancing a few articles for games press sites at the same time!). Like I said: Desperate. But hey — you gotta admire my “never give up” attitude, right?
It’s funny how I can go from looking completely put-together in one picture, to looking like this after a gajillion drinks or so:
That would be me, clutching Kat’s pillow, wasted and passed out on her couch at her apartment after a long night of drinking, dancing, screaming, drunk-eating, and partying. PHEW!
And while we’re on this subject, let me warn y’all that I am prone to saying really stupid things while drunk that could probably get me into trouble if repeated at a more sober hour. So uh, if we ever drink together, uhm … Don’t mind my mouth. I get a little “chatty”. … Yeah. That’s the word for it.
Thankfully, the people I hang out with are awesome and are probably off doing and saying equally stupid things, so I guess I’m not too worried. ;-)
With that said, have a look at these other photos that don’t quite fit anywhere else in this blog entry but seem to cap it off pretty well at the very end! Herp derp:
Shut up, I know I’m blinking. I took this picture for my friend Rich, since we both watch The Amazing Race together, LOL.
And uh, yeah.
And whenever everything seems to be going wrong in your life, remember that mine sucks harder, and that I seem make up for it by having really cool friends. ;)
EDIT: Oh! Before I forget, here are some pictures of me in my room (when it was messy) that I posted via Twitter a while ago. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s because you’re not following me and you suck. And if you have seen them, well … Then enjoy them again! XD
Chin up, emo-kids,
XOXO Cheri XOXO