My most beautiful artwork only ever seems to flow from me when I’m in an emotional state of mind. The whole idea of the “tortured artist” is very true, and is definitely the case with this piece above.
In my more fervent works, the notion of being “forgotten” seems to be the prevailing theme (from children being left behind, scared and alone, to the abandoned lover, beautiful and yet mistreated). Even my nightmares reflect this fear. My most traumatizing dreams are often negligence-centric. Maybe it stems from not getting enough attention when I was younger (I was the middle child)? Maybe it stems from a painful history of unhealthy relationships? Who knows, really.
The only constructive thing that seems to come from this haunting and irrational phobia is my art.
Which is fine, I guess.
Drawn completely with a BiC #2 0.7mm Mechanical Pencil on the first page of my brand new Moleskine Sketchbook (I picked up two yesterday), the final image can be scanned in and printed as large as you like. Unfortunately, I don’t have access to a quality scanner and am only able to photograph my traditional pieces, so forgive me if these aren’t up to parr with what you might expect to see.
To view a larger version, head to my deviantart and favorite it there.
Here are some close-up shots of the finer details (again, photographed with my camera — my apologies!):
References of real flowers were most definitely used to produce the floral sketches. And no, I have no idea what sort of flowers I drew — I just sort of googled “flowers”. Hur.
Below are some shots taken with my cellphone of the piece in progress.
Drawing with pencil again is an incredibly freeing feeling. I seriously forgot what it was like to not have to change your brush size over and over, and to not have the luxury of an “undo” button on a digital pen tablet. Ha. I forgot how effortless it’s always been to scrape in the tiniest details with graphite, versus having to zoom in on photoshop just to etch in a wash of shadow or shading. It feels like I’m “sculpting” an image with my hand.
I’m glad I picked up these sketchbooks.
They seem to keep me grounded.
And it’s nice to feel like I’m able to disconnect from my computer every once in a while.
Deep in thought,
XOXO Cheri XOXO