Okay. So I haven’t blogged in a while, and this is mainly due to the fact that I haven’t been doing anything new or exciting for the past week or so other than apartment hunting in San Francisco and playing Call of Duty: Black Ops.
Me scrubbed out with no makeup and showing off the gaming gear. That would be pot pie in that bowl on the left of the pictures. Lulz.
And a much more attractive cartoon version of me that I drew. Rofl.
I know. Lame.
Buddies of mine have already called to invite me out here and there like to go grab something to eat, or head to a local bar, or just hang out and play video games at their pad or something. But I’ve been so anti-social lately because I’m just so damn dead-set on getting the hell out of this town that anything involving enjoying this little city just makes me feel like I’m taking two steps back and one step forward. Does that make sense?
There’s this song called “Slow Down” by India Arie that I really relate to right now because it’s all about learning to pace yourself, understanding that things come in time, and to not be disappointed in yourself when you don’t get what you want right away.
Here, I youtube’d it for you — I’m such a good friend. What would you do without me? I mean, I know you guys are like, incapable of looking things up for yourself and stuff. ;-P … Kidding.
The video above may not load for those of you viewing my blog from your mobile phones, which looks like a lot of you judging from my traffic analysis, so be sure to look it up on your own when you get a chance — it’s an awesome song with a message.
“Slow down baby, you’re going to fast. You’ve got your hands in the air with your feet on the gas. You’re ’bout to wreck your future running from you past. You need to slow down, baby.”
I just wanted to share some letters with you guys that I’ve received this week from some amazing readers/fans/friends of my blog. I don’t think any of you can really understand how great it feels to know that you’re understood. Even if from a total stranger, the satisfaction of hearing that someone completely understands where you’re coming from is the most motivational and encouraging thing you can ever experience. Someone who doesn’t hate on you, doesn’t tell you that you’re wrong, and just lets you live your life because they understand why you do the things that you do, and they aren’t judging you for it.
They praise you for it.
They accept you.
And I have to say, it feels good to know that someone out there is reading what I write and nodding their head in understanding and saying, “Yeah. Me too.”
With that said … Here are three letters received this week that I thought should get some spotlight. I normally never do this as I know most of you who write in to me value your privacy, so I’ve removed all of the identifying points in your emails to make them a bit more anonymous. But you can go ahead and let me know if you don’t mind me changing things back to normal. Heh.
My name is *A, I live in ********, Australia… 27 and female (lol just thought i’d give you an idea of who I am… I promise i’m not trying to be all creepy!) and I just wanted to say that I am an avid reader of your blog. I have always been interested in what you write about, because what you write about is REAL. It’s real life experiences from a girl who knows and has experienced what she is talking about.
I guess the reason that compelled me to write to you was simply the blog post about being successful and going for your dreams. I’ve been really thinking about what my goals are for the future over the last few months, and since 2011 is approaching, everything I read from that particular post rang true to me.
And then I realised that a lot of what you say is motivational and inspirational, at least for me. So, I want to say thank you. Thank you so much for being that voice that says “you know what, go for it”. And for someone whom I have never met, and probably never will, and for someone I don’t know, I owe a lot of my gratitude to you. You’ve changed the way I approach situations in my life, and I am a lot more confident. Maybe not all your doing, but hell, you definitely had a huge influence on my thinking. Still do.
I don’t expect you to reply, not at all. I just want you to know that you have a “fan” all the way from Australia, saying thank you to you for helping change her life in a positive way. And for all your successes, you truly deserve it. You remind me a little of myself sometimes – driven, determined, and won’t settle for less.
Cheri, you are awesome, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise :)
*A xx :)
I don’t even know who you are, and I mean, you don’t even really know who I am, but to get this kind of support from you — a complete stranger? — it’s so overwhelming. It honestly just pushes me to keep doing what I’m doing and to keep striving to get to where I want to be and to obviously never settle for less. You’ve reminded me to practice a lot of what I preach. And I needed to hear that.
So thank you.
And I hope you don’t mind that I published your letter here — please let me know. Heh.
Another one …
So this might come off a little weird and you’ll probably think I’m some weird lesbian stalker who’s trying to like steal your identity, but trust me I’m not :)
I’m a 17 year old girl/lady/female who is about to go to college next fall majoring in Journalism/Communications and a minor in Business.
I just wanted to know how in the world did you get into doing what you do?!?!?
And I’m talking about writing that’s what I want to do for a living. It’s my passion, my love, and my crazy-ass boyfriend that’s constantly begging for my attention.
Like I look on your blog and I’m like “THAT’S IT!” That’s what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I hope some of this made sense. I hope you can give me some kind of advice. I also hope I didn’t scare you away.
I love your blog and I love what you stand for. You’re an inspiration and I know you probably get that a lot but truly you have inspired me so damn much!
Thank you for reading my essay! hehe
Hahaha! This made me laugh because it reminds me so much of me when I see someone or something that inspires me. I’m like, “I have to do that! I need to be able to put that on my resume! It would make me so awesome!” Rofl.
And that’s good.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.
That’s exactly the sort of mindset and determination that you need to get to where you want. You need to be able to see the things that inspire you and do what you can to reach for that goal. Do everything in your power to strive for it. Even if part of that includes simply writing me an email! Ha.
So I’m guessing what you mean is … How do you get into writing for a living, or something? Because let me tell you right now — my blog doesn’t make me any money, haha! I just do this for fun. Since the new layout revamp on my website, I’ve taken down all of the advertisements etc to avoid the feeling that my blog was just this big piece of marketing bullshit that people could use to drive attention to the things that I don’t even care about. So now it’s just … Me. And I can’t really pay myself, can I? ;-P
But all of the stuff on the side that’s come from having a blog (like all of my sponsors, my amazing readers — HEY GUYS! — the job opportunities that have opened up to me), all of that is probably payment enough.
Now, you’d be surprised.
Although you might think whatever I’m doing here is fucking awesome, there were definitely times where some people would try to change me. Try to change the way that I write, warp my voice, tell me that the messages I was broadcasting were wrong or immature or … I dunno. Just stupid altogether. Like I was young and dumb and steering people in the wrong direction. Or that this was all just a waste of time because my blog wasn’t about anything important. Like, it didn’t have a “niche” or something.
“It’s all over the place, Cheri! You write about makeup, and then video games, and then food, and then health shit — you need to focus on one thing! That’s how you get successful!”
Do this, Cheri.
Do that, Cheri.
Do what I say, Cheri, because I know what I’m talking about.
No you fucking don’t, dude! Get out of my face with that shit. I’m not your little puppet to craft my life into what exactly you think it should be — I’m a fucking 23 year old girl who’s figuring her fucking life out and writing about my trials and tribulations at the same goddamn time. How is that so hard to understand?
The point of that rant was to show you that to get into whatever it is that I’m doing now? I’ve had to go through a lot of self-doubt. A lot of feeling like I was a major failure. I had to sit through people telling me that what I was doing was wrong, or that the path I was taking was moving completely in the wrong direction. People telling me I should just focus on being an artist, or focus on being a photographer, or focus on school, or focus on being a doctor or a lawyer (that one’s for you, Mom, haha, love you), etc etc — it’s overwhelming!!
People are going to try to tell you what to do every day of your fucking life.
People are going to try to make all of your decisions for you.
People are going to try to steer you in a different direction from where you want to be because either the path that you’re taking hasn’t worked out for them in the past, or because they think they know best.
But you know what the beauty of all of that is?
IT’S YOUR LIFE. AND YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT.
I know this may seem hard for you to understand at this point in your life because you’re only 17. Which means, you’re probably living with your parents, or at least still very much under their control. And you have friends probably who are all going off and doing these different things and making you feel maybe a little inferior because it’s almost like you’re trying to go on this path all alone and no one else wants to go with you! You’re at this stage in your life where you don’t really know what you want, and what little you do know, you still don’t know how to get there.
I’ve been there.
I’m still kinda there.
… But I’ve learned to slow down. Know what I mean? You have to do things step by step. You can’t just throw your hands in the air with your feet on the gas — you’re ’bout to wreck your future running from the past. Heh.
I say this quote all the time, but you need to “BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD“.
And it starts with little things.
You can live for yourself, or you can live the life that other people want you to have.
Now, if you want to be a writer? Be one.
Like maybe start your own blog. Start getting all those thoughts out of your head about all of the dreams that you want one day. Start writing about how you envision your future and how you just know that you’ll be happy when you get there. Start writing about how much you love your crazy boyfriend and start detailing all of the funny things he does that makes you laugh, or all of the annoying stuff he says that pisses you off. Start writing about how difficult school is sometimes, or about why you look up to certain people, or why you want so badly to achieve whatever level of success you believe is ideal — just start writing.
Get into the habit, y’know?
I write about everything. There’s no limit for me because I own this blog. This is my place to say whatever I want and feel however I want and do whatever I want to do — I can write about vibrators. About how stupid my ex boyfriend is sometimes. About how clingy some guys can be. About how I play video games all day. About how apartment hunting in San Francisco is driving me insane. About how fucking annoying some of my friends can be sometimes (but I still love them). About how great my skin looks in the morning since I rarely ever drink or go out late or wear makeup anymore. About anything.
So how did I get into this?
How did I get into writing?
… I just did.
I liked it, so I kept doing it.
Try it and see if you feel the same. Get a feel for what it’s really like to just express yourself in your writing. It’s a freeing experience. Write about your darkest, innermost thoughts, and see how good it feels to look at it on paper or on your computer screen and know that it exists in a place other than your head.
It’s life-changing stuff.
… Well, if you’ve really got that “writer’s blood” in you, I mean. For some people it may not mean shit. Heh.
But if you mean, how did I get so “famous” or something? I don’t know, dude. Lol. I’m a crazy bitch — I was bound to get some spotlight sooner or later. If you have more questions or want me to elaborate on something specific, just let me know. I’m happy to answer your questions.
Anyway, here’s another letter that’s kind of along the same lines.
I can really use some of your advices now! And you don’t have to wonder why Im asking you ‘cos I practically IDOLISE YOU. Zomg.
Okay, here it is!
I’m setting a up a new blog hoping to change myself a little, to um…become more like you, or should I say, someone similar to you? I know you’ve gone through tons of shit and my life story can’t be compared to yours, AT ALL. Ya da ya da.
I’m wondering, WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME and HOW THE HELL DID’CHA GET SO MANY READERS?! Frankly speaking, I feel inferior, really!
And, I wanna try out modelling but I’m not confident about my figure and I get a little camera shy when it comes to me having to be photographed by a stranger!
I have so much to ask but I figure that you’d be too busy to asnswer all!
Any tips or advice?
I’d love to hear from you, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!
I honestly don’t even know how I got so many readers! I think it’s a combination of everything that I’ve done just all mashed into one place. Like, where everyone I know all realizes that I have a blog where I pretty much pour out my deepest, darkest secrets, and they all come here because, for some reason, I interest them.
So it starts with interest, I guess.
You have to get people interested in you.
Like, whether it’s a boy that likes you, or someone you meet at a party, or someone you’re responding to in a forum online, or people who subscribe to you on youtube, or people who follow you on twitter — it starts with a social connection. A lot of the traffic I generate for my blog has to do with networking. Passing out business cards, commenting on blogs that follow the same interests that I do, joining communities full of people with the same ideals that I have, etc.
Understand what makes you different.
What makes you unique.
What makes you interesting.
That’s your selling point.
Embrace who you are for all of your strange little intricacies and fascinating qualities, and others will see that. Be a leader. Take charge of your own life. It inspires people — it really does.
By getting more people interested in you and what you do, it’s like … A virus or something. Word of mouth is incredibly powerful. One person talks about you to their friend, their friends start talking about you like they know you, and their friends start talking about you — it’s hectic shit. You start to build up this resume of people who all know you (or think they know you) and all talk about you to the people that they know, and suddenly, BAM.
You’re where I am.
… Wherever this is, I guess.
Of course, a lot of my readers are also haters. People who don’t like me. People who think I stand for everything that’s wrong in the world (Lol! That just makes me laugh, I’m sorry). People who just flat out hate me.
… But it’s that misdirected hate and anger that keeps them coming back for more, so who am I to complain, right?
That’s how twisted all this shit is — the more hits you get, the more sponsors want you. The more traffic hits your blog, the more people want to work with you. It doesn’t matter f you’re infamous or famous or whatever-the-hell you are — as long as people know who you are, more people want to be around you.
So I guess you just really have to ask yourself if that’s something that you’re ready for.
To be around fake people. Or angry people. Or people who backstab you or just want to hang out with you because they want some spotlight. Or I dunno … All that shit. It’s overwhelming sometimes. It’s not all roses and rainbows, know what I mean?
Please don’t feel inferior to me — I’m just a chick who writes a lot and plays Call of Duty. :P
As for the modeling thing, I don’t actually model, y’know? I just work with photographers here and there when I get bored, or if I really like someone’s work and think that we could both benefit from a shoot. But if you really want to get into it, start putting the word out that you’re interested! Start a modeling profile with some candid photos of yourself from different angles to give someone a feel for how you look, explain that you’re an amateur model who is simply looking to build your portfolio, that you’re willing to do unpaid shoots in exchange for shots for your modeling resume, etc.
Or if you simply want to be more like me, just understand how I live my life and you’ll be set!
1.) I do what makes me happy.
2.) I forgive easily, but never forget.
3.) I learn from my failures.
4.) I am constantly building my resume of accomplishments.
5.) See number 4.
And uh … Yeah.
Again, if you’d like me to elaborate, please just write in and ask or leave me a comment — you know I respond to every single thing you guys send me. Your support is incredibly important to me and I value your input, so it’s the least that I can do.
Anyway, I’ll probably start featuring letters or comments like these every now and then because, seriously, I get a fucking lot of them, LOL. And a lot of them ask the same questions or say the same things, so why not just share it here for all of you to see, right? Thanks for writing in, everyone. I appreciate it more than you know.
Happy to share,
XOXO Cheri XOXO