Remember how I said I’d update every Sunday?
Well, I’ve changed my mind. I’m not a big fan of this weekly update thing. It’s just no fun, really.

The beauty of updating whenever-the-fuck I want is that I can get immediate feedback on the things that matter to me at that specific moment in time. If something crazy happens to me in the next half hour, I want to be able to write about it right now and hear what y’all think without the whole, “Crap. I only update on Sundays” thing going on in my head.

Originally, I thought it would make writing easier for me since I usually have so much going on. But after taking this whole schedule thing for a test run, it turns out that it’s made my shit feel super “robotic”. Like I can’t even hear my own voice. Like I’m on some deadline for the one thing that’s supposed to make me happy, and it actually becomes more stressful for me.

Oh well.
I wouldn’t have known I didn’t like it if I didn’t even try it, right?

Which means … Yeah. I’m going back to the formula that’s always worked for me: Random updates whenever I feel like it. And actually, I’m pretty sure most of you agree with me. ;)

Recently, in an attempt to help pay the bills, I’ve been accepting a few modeling gigs here and there. And yes, I know, it’s been forever since I’ve been in front of a camera forreal. I go through these phases where I’m like, “I hate everyone! I hate the spotlight! I don’t want to be in front of a camera anymore!”

But uh. I’m good at it. It’s easy. And it brings in enough income for me to buy groceries and pay my utilities, so … I may as well do it, right? Why not? I already do everything else.

Besides. Modeling is the only chance I get nowadays to wear high heels in this freaking hill-covered city.

For those of you ladies who live out here in San Francisco, California and rock heels on a daily basis, answer this question for me: How the hell do you do it?! And where exactly are you going with those high heels, because whenever I throw them on, I feel incredibly overdressed. Don’t you?

My hair is getting so long, too.
I don’t know why I keep chopping it off — I always feel my sexiest when I can run my fingers through it and twist it in long spirals in my hands. It’s like this nervous tick I have or something. I am constantly playing with my hair. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s the one thing everyone keeps telling me to stop doing in my videos (oops).

Example below where I’m showing off a new outfit of the day:

Those are some of my favorite pants right now, by the way.

There are Mediums and Larges left on Amazon for only $26.95 from BCBG Max Azria, so get ‘em before they run out!

Oh, and I am seriously obsessed with Boxed Wine.
I know. Classy, right?

I swear it’s like it never runs out, and I always have enough to go around when I have company. And with the amount of females marching through my apartment on the regular (between both my roomie and me), boxed wine is like a staple in our diet.

Don’t judge me — it’s delicious!
Not to mention it’s the perfect companion for a night of solo video games or a drunken tirade with Black Ops (which I happen to rule at, if you remember).

When you have a huge box of yummy wine in your fridge, a comfy bed, and an HDTV, it gets pretty tough to be productive (or social, for that matter). Trust me when I say that after spending my first night alone sipping the stuff, I realized why people become losers who hide inside all day drinking and playing on the internet instead of out and about doing something with their lives.

Fortunately, I have good friends who enjoy eating good food, and I’ve gotten out enough to try quite a few different places in San Francisco.

The fried bananas with coconut ice cream above are from Thai Stick, for example. But as a tip from me to you, don’t just rip off a piece and bite into it right away. They’re freaking hot and will definitely burn your tongue! So instead, chop it in half and let the steam out, stuff it with coconut, mango, or green tea ice cream, let it cool off for a few seconds, then nom away. Mmmm.

This burrito is from Beach Burrito, a Mexican food place in the Outer Sunset.
And I mean, I like burritos, but I’m not a big “meat” person when it comes to the stuff. So I’m always asking for just a hint of meat, with shittons of grilled vegetables, guacamole, and sour cream (yum).

Personally, I tend to judge Mexican Food by how tasty their tortilla chips and salsa are, and this place was … Meh. It was okay. I like my salsas and guacamole pretty hearty and chunky — this stuff was watered down and runny. Not my style.

But if you dig the streamy stuff, this might be the place for you. :P

After grabbing food at Beach Burrito, Ocean Beach is just a few blocks away, and it’s just beautiful.

I’ve only really heard of two beaches in the city: Ocean Beach, and Baker. And from what I’ve heard, Baker is the better of the two. But I dunno’ — there’s something so calming about going to a beach that’s dead empty. You can think out there. You can write, you can draw, you can listen to the waves.

Just bring a sun umbrella for sure if you plan on chilling for a while, because sunglasses aren’t gonna cut it in that light.

How’s everything else going for me?
I … Don’t even really know what I’m doing lately. Shit is so scattered for me, it’s ridiculous. I can’t decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I’ve definitely had a few offers to go full-time with a few companies who want to hire me on as their Social Media Consultant, as a Community Manager for various start ups, etc, but I don’t know … Do I really want that right now?

I’m sort of just enjoying this weird “vacation” that I’m on where all I have to do is model, freelance, draw stuff, write things occasionally, and lay around in bed playing video games and drinking wine. I know it’s not going to last forever, and I’m sure something crazy is going to happen to me where I suddenly need to get my shit together, but if I could just get by doing what I feel is “nothing” for the rest of my life, I think I’d be pretty happy.

There was a time in my life where all I wanted was to be in the spotlight, or be in front of the camera, or be somewhere where I could just be me and people would love me for it. But I think I’ve reached a point where I’m kind of happy with where I am and don’t really need anything else.

Can’t a girl just have good food, good friends, good drinks (and as a bonus: good sex), and have that be totally fine?

Humor me: What if I stopped trying to be this super successful person because I was already satisfied with where I’m at right now? What if all I did was ramble (like I already do, actually) about the mundane things that happen to me every day, and stopped trying to throw myself into the lime light? Would that be alright? Would I be crucified for not being as successful as I sometimes hope and dream I might be someday?

Because uh … I like where I’m at.

I like that I’m not in some psychotic relationship with some crazy person who drives me batshit insane. I like that I’m able to survive in the city under fairly affordable living expenses. I like that there are cute boys everywhere that I can date or flirt with without being pressured to be in a relationship. I like that I can shop and dress the way I want. I like that I can write on my blog and pretty much say whatever I like because, duh, it’s not like I’m a celebrity or anything — no one really cares what I say, right?

I like being complacent with the idea that I’m “nobody”, because it’s when I start to think that I’m “somebody” that I suddenly feel stressed.

I enjoy being able to disappear. It’s nice.
I like not being a popular topic of conversation.
And actually, I like the me-time I’ve been having.
I like being alone in my room with no one bothering me.
I happen to find it relaxing.

Basically what I’m saying is, if nothing spectacular happens in the next few weeks from now other than a few articles published to various news sites and a few modeling photos, that’s cool with me. :P I’d rather have that than some kind of drama rollercoaster.

Anyway, let’s just end it with this since my friend requested it:

‘Nuff said,
XOXO Cheri XOXO