On Happiness, Success and Self-Discovery.
January 12, 2012 in Adventures, Advice, Dating & Boys, Random Crap, Reflecting, Vanity
It’s been almost a month since I’ve taken my hiatus from blogging.
I thought by now I’d have my book written up and finished, but as it turns out, books apparently take much longer than 30 something odd days to write, edit and publish. So, in the interest of my own sanity, I’ve decided to blog a bit.
Which means, hello readers.
I haven’t seen some of you in a while.
And to the rest of you who’ve been quietly stalking me through various other social platforms, you probably haven’t missed me at all (assuming you would miss me in the first place, that is).
If you’ve been keeping up with me via Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr (NSFW), Google+ etc — you’ve probably experienced more than enough of your fair share when it comes to my annoyingly persistent and sometimes-inebriated or caffeine-induced writing. This combined with a dash of egomaniacal self-”photography”, a pinch of free-spirited philosophy, and a quick foursquare check in here or there, and you have the makings of a compulsive-scribe who has been desperately trying not to document her every thought or experience.
Evidence of my peeing across the Internet in an effort to continue marking my virtual territory can be seen in the many far-too-vain images below:
Again, if you’ve been attempting to keep up with me outside of my blog, you’ve probably already seen these images. So my apologies to those of you who’ve grown sick of seeing my big, fat and dumb face.
Let’s get you all caught up, shall we?
First things first, the most important highlights of my young millennial life:
- I am now happily single after being succinctly dumped on Christmas day. How this happened is truly beyond me, as I’ve basically written the book on how to be an awesome girlfriend. Since then, however, I’ve been swept up in what I believe to be one extremely healthy dating life, so the pain of breaking up was, fortunately, sharp but very brief. I will admit, of course, to laughing at myself and feeling like a moron for investing deep emotions into what was frankly one short (although deliciously sex-injected) relationship. Lesson learned.
- This near-month I’ve spent on my hiatus from blogging has been full of absolutely ridiculous adventures that I’m sort of grateful for leaving off the web, yet simultaneously regret not having documented. After blogging for well over a decade now, I feel I owe it to most of my readers to clue them into the various soap opera-esque exploits of my absurdly entertaining life (trouble seems to have a way of finding me). But again, some things are meant to be left unsaid and, on that same note, some pictures are meant to go unpublished.
- My new years resolutions have been something like, “try new things,” “develop my skills,” “embrace my friends,” and “leave my apartment at least once a day.” So far, I’ve been doing pretty well. Especially with this break from blogging — I’ve been developing closer relationships with many of my girlfriends, and it reminds me that not everything needs to be said online, and that sometimes, I’m better off just divulging my secrets and emotions to the people in my life who I sincerely trust. With my priorities now reevaluated, I’m able to make smarter decisions about who I decide to speak to about what, and where I decide to share whatever I’d like to reveal.
There. Now you’re all caught up on the basic stuff.
Moving on.
How’s my “work” situation?
After having all this time to sort of spoil myself rotten by doing whatever I want (dating, exploring the city, going on new adventures etc), I’ve finally kicked back into “work mode” again and am starting to humor the idea of dedicating myself to a new position. I won’t mention who exactly I’ve been speaking to regarding employment, but I will say that unlike my previous endeavors towards rapidly scaling my professional career, I now know that my massive amount of work experience is incredibly valuable, and that I can afford to take my time and be a bit more selective with what I eventually decide to do.
My main goal is to work in an environment that is consumer-and-media-facing, aggressive, and exploits my ability to a) network, b) thrust myself into social media with high-volume content, c) develop highly engaging branding strategies, and d) write, obviously. Toss in a bit of travel, one fantastic salary, great benefits and the potential opportunity to be a sort of “cheerleader” for whatever brand I happen to represent, and you have my ideal work situation.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently about what I’d like to do with my life, joking that even if I ended up homeless or jobless for whatever reason, I’d be the sort of person to take that experience in stride. In fact, I’d probably end up documenting the entire episode online anyway, a la that one homeless lady who is now a Twitter celebrity after sharing her street-life adventures with the Internet. And yes, I’m annoyed that she did it before me. Not that I planned on being homeless! Just that I had a strategy for how I’d take that situation, should it ever arise, and was hoping it would be a unique (and potentially profitable) concept. Ah well.
Regardless of what I decide to do, I’m not so stupid as to think that things will simply fall into my lap. As knowledgeable and capable as I claim I am (and know I am, really), it all depends on the employer to decide whether I’d be an appropriate “fit” for whatever their long-term vision is regarding the company. I’ve been in enough chaotic and disorganized situations to understand this. I am hopeful, however, that my jarring online persona — although entertaining to some — will not take precedence over my actual skill and experience.
Because let’s be honest.
I’m pretty badass.
… And humble, clearly.
The job market is changing.
One established and successful friend of mine very seriously said, “Cheri, if you can’t make it in San Francisco, you can’t make it anywhere.” And this is more true than you know.
You have no idea how many CEOs, Founders and Entrepreneurs I’ve met who all argue the same thing — that the job market is changing, and how nowadays, a degree simply can’t compare to someone who has better drive, work experience and hunger or passion for their industry. Almost every company I have had the pleasure of getting to know (including big-wigs like Google and Facebook) might suggest an emphasis on the importance of a degree and education, but the reality of the situation is: College-dropouts have invaded the market and are making more than those with expensive degrees can ever hope to achieve.
Now, I am not, by any means, suggesting that everyone drop out of school, start their own company or come to San Francisco and work for a startup. If life truly were that easy, we’d all be running our own companies and raising several millions of dollars in funding. I am, however, being completely honest when I say that out of every interview or meeting I’ve had, I’ve been strongly advised against re-attending school for a higher degree (this advice comes from PR execs, company owners, investors etc), and have instead been encouraged to pursue my passions outside of education. Most of the successful people I’ve met agree that schooling (for someone with my current experience, anyway) would be a waste of time, and that with the connections and skills I have, I’d be better suited to picking up a position ASAP. This is especially true for someone with my particular interests, as the tech scene here in Silicon Valley is a “hot job market” with lots of money to go around.
This is shocking to think about, really, when you imagine how poor the US economy supposedly is. I feel incredibly privileged to live in such a thriving city. There’s really nothing wrong with San Francisco, which makes it one easy and fun city to live in (provided you understand where to seek the right opportunities). And after speaking to someone who is very seriously considering taking a political role in the future, this is simply one of those cities where you can get by on humoring the majority vote of the locals.
Blah, blah, blah.
I could rant forever about this sort of thing, but I’d prefer not to bore you. Feel free, however, to pose any questions you might have for me regarding the above in the comments below. As usual, I am happy to respond.
What have I discovered about myself while taking a break from blogging?
When I was young(er), I would often get caught up in what I now understand to be fleeting and unimportant moments in my life. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again — things that felt momentous and epic have instead been chalked up as “life experiences”, and it is from these failures and successes that I’ve managed to figure out more deeply who I am, what I want, what I’ll tolerate and what I won’t. I very much understand myself and what makes me happy, and I’ve learned that the only person who makes a difference when it comes to doubting my own abilities is, surprise, me.
I’ve also learned that negative outside influences, i.e. the people who try to bring us down, the people who pretend to be friends but that we should really only be tactfully humoring, and the people who really have no business being allowed to experience our presence to begin with — these are the people whose opinions and ideas are, without a doubt, hindering us from achieving our goals. You have absolutely no idea how much I’ve been able to accomplish by ignoring the once-overwhelming amount of “hate” I’ve received through nearly every new venture I’ve bothered to pursue. It is so clear to me now that changing my directives and goals to suit the granular needs of every single person on planet earth only serves to pull me further away from my ultimate aims.
That said, I am far more motivated now to do the things that I previously thought to be frowned upon. This includes but is not limited to: Modeling for fun, writing for fun, creating art for fun, goofing off on my piano for fun, reading every book I can get my hands on for fun, enjoying sex for fun, cooking for fun, being a good girlfriend for fun, dating for fun etc. I’ve found that the more honest I am with myself about what makes me happy, the easier it is for me to admit to other people my guilty pleasures with an unabashed sense of self awareness.
Life is, indeed, very good.
What you should be taking from my rambling:
For the depressed few in the world who happen to disagree with my proposal that life is truly wonderful, I desperately hope that you all somehow find happiness while aiming for the things that actually bring you a lasting sense of pleasure rather than these fleeting moments of accomplishment. Far too often, I personally feel that I aim for these things that, in the long run, don’t bring me a real sense of contentment. And yes, although it is definitely enjoyable to gather trophies, the original “buzz” I get from reaching goals has never been quite the same.
This is in comparison, of course, to the moments of true euphoria I receive when, for example, simply lying in bed next to someone I actually really enjoy kissing or touching or talking to. Or in comparison to getting through some amazing book, then serendipitously discovering that someone I know has read it as well, and having this lengthy and energized/excited discussion about what I’ve read, what I should read next, etc. Or the feeling I get when I cook something amazing, and whoever’s tasting it is groaning in pleasure. Or the feeling I get when I’m giving someone a long massage, and they are just loving every second of it. Or the feeling I get actually caring about someone and spoiling someone selflessly. Or the feeling I get when I’m just gabbing with a girlfriend about my day and laughing wildly when we compare stories and experiences.
I repeat: Far too often, we aim for these things that, in the long run, probably don’t matter much in terms of our own personal happiness. It’s the little things in life that we should appreciate and stack up by the hundreds, not these trophies or achievements. And hey — if you, like me, can manage to stack up a healthy helping of both, then I’d say you’ve hit the jackpot.
You hold the reins to your life.
Don’t ever let anyone else tell you how to live it, what to do, what your goals should be and what is or isn’t supposed to make you happy.
Cheers,
XOXO Cheri XOXO
Follow Me!