I didn’t reply to him because I didn’t want to have a conversation about all of the things I didn’t like about him, then have to sit through listening to him defending himself, only to result in me still being resolute over where our pseudo-relationship would never go.
But if you must know:
- Throwing your keys into my apartment because I won’t let you inside so you have an excuse not to drive away when I’ve told you to leave is, very literally, crazy.
- Constantly leaving things at my apartment so you have an excuse to come back is the stupidest and almost creepiest thing ever — your sweater I currently have is either going in the garbage, or into my collected pile of sweaters-from-ex-boyfriends.
- Buying me tons of gifts is really thoughtful and sweet, and every girl loves to be spoiled, but that doesn’t make me want to date you, and it certainly doesn’t mean I owe you anything.
- Your tendency to act like a child when you don’t get your way is so incredibly off-putting — I can’t even wrap my mind around it. You get pissed off at me because I won’t let you spend the night, so you storm off like a kid and go make out with some random girl as revenge? First of all, I don’t care because you’re not my boyfriend and never will be. But more importantly, if I did give a fuck about who you were kissing, that would have really hurt me and pissed me off, and that sort of behavior is just not acceptable to me in a partner, nor is it attractive at all.
- Lying to me about how much you’ve had to drink, or where you’ve been, or what you’re doing is just the shadiest thing. I don’t care that we aren’t dating or going out. The fact that you’re lying to me already is hugely disrespectful and does not lay the groundwork for a relationship that would work in the future. Honesty is insanely important to me.
- Badmouthing other guys because you can tell I’m attracted to them is disgusting, especially when the things you say about them aren’t true. It reeks of insecurity, and it makes you come off as pathetic and jealous.
- The 2 to 3 AM booty calls, drunk dials, and drunk-driving are a huge deal breaker.
I’ve looked past a lot of your mistakes and outbursts because I genuinely am attracted to you (when you’re normal), but these bouts of “nutty” are huge red flags for me, and I’m just not willing to put up with that sort of behavior for the rest of my life. I am 26 years old, and if I were dating right now, I would want an adult relationship. Not this.
I don’t trust you.
I don’t like you very much.
And I don’t find you very impressive at all.
But good luck out there, guy.
PS. Mom, if you’re reading this and shaking your head thinking I’m running around breaking hearts on purpose, I’m really not. This is me letting someone down with the intent to not break his heart in the future, because even if he and I did end up going out, I’d probably break up with him for the same reasons. I know what I want. I’m saving us both the time, heartache, and trouble.