The entire concept behind this shoot was entirely my idea. Because I’m insane, and dream up
images like this in my head 24/7. ;D ROFL. Just kidding.

… No, I’m not really kidding. For those of
you who have no idea, I’m really into video games, art, comic books, sci-fi fantasy shit.
As in, I am a nerd. Nerd to the core. Nerd to the bones of my soul. And if not for loving alcohol and
partying so much, I would probably just be at home with my PS3 all damn day trying to complete
every quest on Fallout 3.

But that’s not much of a life, huh? :/

So instead, I dream up images like this.

Basically, I wanted something very anime-looking. Grunge, dirty, tank-girl-esque,
brawler chick, kick-ass type something or other. I wanted the photos to look like she
was a character out of a comic book who could leap out of the photo and beat you up
at any moment. When I angle my shots and take my photos, I constantly have this
question in the back of my head: “Would this look good as a drawing??”

Remember when I was developing a character named VICTORY a while back? This shoot is based
off of that image. CLICK HERE TO SEE MY CONCEPT DRAWING. She’s a girl who doesn’t give a fuck.
A girl who smokes too much, drinks too much, kills too much — does everything in excess and
just DOESN’T. GIVE. A FUCK.

I chose Nicole for this shoot because when I first met
her a few years ago, she was in a very punk-ish phase. She doesn’t dress anything remotely close
to this at all anymore, but that image of her is still stuck in my head. So I thought, hey! Who
better to play the role than her?!

Like all models on their first shoot, she was incredibly nervous and awkward. Here’s one of the
first photos I took of her. You can see that she’s not dirty yet — her clothes are clean, her shirt
is intact, her hair isn’t fucked up too bad, and she’s basically spotless.

Not.
What.
I wanted.

I worked with her, shot with her, put her into strange positions so she’d start to get a feel
for what I wanted, start to understand how I wanted her to act and move. I’d say things
like, “Act like you hate me! Act like you don’t give a fuck if you
look pretty or ugly! Roll in the dirt! Stop giving a fuck if you look bad or not and just try
to look ugly for me!”

I think every model is, at first, a little insecure with how they look in the shots. They’re unused
to their own faces, unused to other people spending so much time with them to get their
expressions and their posture just right. Unused to people staring at them for long periods
of time. Everything combined.

That’s why these two shots of her are so boring in comparison to everything else I’ve shot of
her. Because she wasn’t loosened up yet. She was too damn clean. I think she had this
image in her head of what I wanted her to do, and she was trying to conform to that
pre-imagined concept in her mind. But after drilling it into her that I wanted her to be
more real, more “FUCK YOU” and “I COULD CARE LESS IF I LOOK LIKE SHIT“,
she really started to give me more emotion.

She started to give me more to work with. She started to move. Started to laugh.
Started to dance around. Started realizing that the shots aren’t all about just looking
pretty. Started understanding that it’s about taking risks, not giving a fuck, moving
your body like a goddamn octopus, and just shifting into crazy poses exactly like I
wanted her to move.

But it was when we just reached into the dirt and smeared it all over her that I think the
image of what I wanted her to do just clicked in her head. I didn’t want her to
look “pretty” — her face is cute enough. I wanted her to look FIERCE. Fuckin’
ferocious as hell. Like a tiny little asian bitch that can kick your ass!

Can you see the difference? How loose she is in this photo in comparison to her just
standing around and trying to look pretty? In comparison to just sitting there and
trying to get everything just right? She’s starting to “not-give-a-fuck” — and that
is exactly what I wanted her to do. It’s the attitude she needed to get this shoot
down. It’s the mentality she needed to drill into her mind. It’s the only way this shot
was possible. And she did such an amazing job!!

Backtracking a little.
I remember brainstorming with her over the phone, through myspace, and over texts.
Coming up with the wardrobe, describing to her what I wanted her to wear, informing
her that I’d have someone there to do her hair all crazy, explaining the makeup and
the concept of the shoot. She was so helpful. Why? Because she had ideas
of her own.

While I love bringing my own ideas to life, what I love the most is when a model
can give me some creative feedback on ideas that they have for the shoot as well.
For instance, she came up with bringing the grenade to the set. She even had this old
war-helmet that we could’ve used! But we ended up ditching it in favor of the huge
hair. *Sigh* Oh well. She did everything she could to ensure that the image would be
absolutely perfect — she worked with me. Collaborated with me. Came up
with ideas with me. And that’s what I like. That’s what I love.

Her tattoo says, “Hate The Sin, Love The Sinner”, by the way. Because I know one of you
is going to ask. :P

Anyways — Every single piece of her wardrobe was planned. The knee-high chucks, the
torn jeans, the double-layered stud belt, the dirty boxing bandages, the makeup, the
hair, the grenade, the dirty tank — it all came to life so perfectly. It looks like a drawing,
doesn’t it?! Like it came straight out of a comic book?! Just the pose and the wardrobe.
I’ve never been so proud of a shoot! Seriously!

And didn’t the hairstylist do an amazing job?! I described the type of hair I wanted the
model to have, and Jennie (the stylist) pulled it
together in about 20 minutes! Shit’s DOPE!! It was the hottest female mohawk I’ve
ever seen in my goddamn life! No effing joke. I think all of the girls must have
sat around “ooo”-ing and “ahhh”-ing over Nicole‘s hair for a good
ten minutes before we were finally on the road to the different locations for the shoot. Rofl.

All-in-all, so exciting!!

But blah-blah-blah. Enough talk. Let’s take a look behind the scenes so you can
see this shit without too much editing and posing going on, haha. :D

Nicole at my house getting her hair did!
That’s Jennie‘s hand working it. She’s on the
phone with her boyfriend here describing to him how crazy her makeup is (which I did,
by the way, since someone’s going to ask), and telling him how nuts her
hair is going to be. Lmfao.

Fuckin’ around at one of the locations for the shoot! Playing her samurai sword like
a guitar! Hahaha. We were going to get some cool samurai shots in, but they all ended
up looking really corny and ridiculous, so I wasn’t able to use any of them. She needed
to choke the sword a bit more in her shots, now that I look at these photos. :/ But
whatever! Next time. Learned my lesson. Lol.

Here’s Jennie taking some creative control and explaining to Nicole one
of the poses she can do for the shoot. It’s great to have other like-minded individuals
on-set with me because if the model isn’t understanding what I want her to do, then the
other helpers can pipe in! They also give her great feedback like, “YOU LOOK SO HOT!!”
Or, “That’s perfect! Right there!” And it helps her get more comfortable.

HAHAHAHA!! Here, we found an old whiskey bottle that we wanted to smash for the shoot.
Jennie swung towards the wall and completely missed it,
and pulled back laughing. I’m glad I caught this shot because it just cracks me up.

She eventually did break the bottle (after like 10 tries of smashing it against a
telephone pole), but too much glass broke off for us to actually use it convincingly in the
shoot. It ended up not even looking like a bottle anymore. WEAK!! :P :P

One of the funnier quotes from the day, “I look like a poo-poo!!” Nicole,
laughing after seeing how dirty and gross she looked. Lol. We seriously smashed dirt all up in
her chest, shirt, pants, knees, bra, hair, shoulders, etc. Gross, hahaha.

So yeah! Things are going really well.
I need to pick up some lights so I can stop relying on natural light and flash so much,
but it’s kinda’ expensive. So I’m waiting on them. :/ But when I get it all, you better
believe shit’s going to get even crazier!! ♥ ♥ ♥

NOTE TO SELF:
As a photographer, I need to bring kneepads, elbowpads and some gloves on-set
because I really need to get down and dirty to get some of the shots!! Haha.

My schedule is so packed. Expect to not see updates for a good weekend or so. *SIGH!*

busy, busy, busy,
XOXO Cheri XOXO